She said her name was "party"
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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