She is in my trunk
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
