you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
