D3 body, D1 cock
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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