I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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