No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
