Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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