I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
is wine microwaveable?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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