I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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