Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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