I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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