She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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