So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
