Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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