ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
