I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
wow bdsm is so cute
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
