Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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