found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
