you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
