dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
