Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
