So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You're a waste of cheezeits
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
