Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
