yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
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