I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
