so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
