Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
