Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
