I can tuck mytits in my pants
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
