ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
