having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
