You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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