So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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