So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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