I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
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