Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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