U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
