can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
