I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
