I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
wanna go halves on a baby?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
