Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
