last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
