do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
