you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
