He asked to "fluff my boner.."
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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