piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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