You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
NoShamevember. You game?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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