google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
