At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
