i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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