I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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