Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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