BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
