Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
