Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
