Taylor Swift is so right about you.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
