Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize