sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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