I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Randomize
