I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
